Whole Foods

There is a whole foods on Maui.

Living on Kauai, I spend a lot of my transplant small-talk time keening with people over retail that exists elsewhere and not here. Most frequently mentioned: Target, Ross, Old Navy and especially Trader Joe's. A close runner up? Whole Foods.
Well, I went to the beloved Whole Foods on Maui. I warned my kid that she was going to have to be so patient because this shopping trip was going to take FOREVER.

And it did. I savored every second of it. I walked up and down every aisle, looked at every thing on the shelves, admired the bulk bins and the saintly edenic cosmetics and the gourmet prepared food (take something fancy. Stuff it with something else fancy. Voila.)

I found about 6 things I wanted to lug home with me (for one, sunscreen decorated with cute Eric Carle drawings and with big reassuring letters: "Contains No Bad Stuff." Just like The Hitchhiker's Guide: "don't panic.") And spent $100 on my wee basket-full. Hah! reminded me of the Simpson's clip when they go shopping at "Wellness Foods" and spend $9000 on a week's worth of food, which all shrivels on the counter because it's organic and lacks preservatives. hehe.
But look at this glistening olive bar... The olive-eating lifestyle this suggests! Worldly friends, expensive Tapenades and Hummus.

There was also a deli counter with actual rounds of imported cheeses and cured meats, and rows and rows of fussy beers with artsy labels and wine with small-print descriptions and great logos. I got a canvas bag so I can be the envy of all the other transplant mommies-- the one in the inner circle of food snobs.

I was reading the Hawaiian Airlines magazine on the way home and laughed out loud when I saw the full-page Whole Foods ad:
"Love at Second Bite"
"You came in once, come back again!"

They pegged it. I went once, and I feel no need to ever go back. I got my canvas bag and my caterpillar-endorsed sunscreen. Now I'll go back to Costco, or even worse, WALMART, where I belong.


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